Promise your home that you will love it just as it has and will love you

home. home. home.
Where is it and how do we find it? I only know my answer to the question. Home is where my heart leaps. Home is where I would do anything for that person. Home is where I can voice my opinion and not be shut down. I have been having a lot of debates with my dad lately. Debates about the colorado shooter, about the role of woman in Christianity, and the list goes on from there. I never feel scared to voice my opinion. Every time it seems to be slightly different than my dad's. And you know what? I'm ok with that.

This summer I began to be closer to people that are miles upon miles away from me. I also began to get closer to people that are 5 minutes away to right down the hall. Things in life seem to go a certain way and the pattern is unknown. Right now my life is turning. A different turn than I thought it was going to take. I am stepping in and dealing with it. well as much as I can. Though after this year is up, I will be deciding my future.

I watch and listen to my friends deciding as well. I learn through them...I try my best to also be there for them. Decisions are the worse. They really are. You are either decided between something bad and good, good and good, or bad and bad. If I decide to stay in Michigan...I leave behind so many things and people. Though which state is better for me right now. What is good for me right now?

I found a new family last school year. And that is something I never want to let go of. I never want it to slip between my fingers. I fear now that it has potential to. Not because love isn't there. It's not even close to that. It is life. It is the decisions and choices in life that will affect it. It is the unnatural events in life.

For three 1/2 years after my mom passed away I was depressed. It never got better. It got insanely worse before it got better. It tore my heart up and chewed on it for 3 1/2 years. The devil got me thinking things that weren't true or right. I saw people differently than I do now. I'm not sure what brought me out of that depression but I know when my heart and mind where isync...a close knit family appeared before my eyes.

My home will never be a house or a "home". My home will never be a smell or a taste. My home is that living body sitting next to me, on my computer screen, in the speakers of my phone, and in my thoughts. That is my home. Because I cannot survive with just four walls, windows, and a door...I need bodies. Warm bodies. The ones who hold your hand...break your walls...kiss you goodnight...and tell you that they love you.

My family is spread apart. My Dad in Escondido. Britton in San Diego. Brandon and Allison in Oakland. Blake, Brooke, and Alaina in Illinois. Where is my home? Where do I choose to plant my roots for a bit. I have no idea and I don't want to think about it until I have to.

Anyways, think of your home. Hug it with your mind. Promise your home that you will love it just as it has and will love you. Because there are people out there that don't even have one home.