Well, honestly sometimes I feel like I am an alien

I am me and no one else.
I am me and I do not have to be anyone else.
I am reserved but kind.
I am anxious but I am ready.
I am sensitive but I am honest.

I have been having this conversation with one of my best friends over a course of months. It has been stuck in my mind since November. I experienced a form of a break up that really impacted me. It was something that really makes you look at people and wonder.
I have a constant thought in my head that is, I do not understand people. I do not understand how they work or why they work the way they do.

Communication and honesty are the number ones in a relationship in my mind. I will struggle if I do not have these. They have been produced to be number ones because of past failing relationships...I actually am not really sure. Time and time again I get into things and do not understand how they get all confusing. I do not understand why people can't be honest. Life to me seems easier that way.

I have learned that I am very sensitive. I have learned that I am very private. I have learned that I get along with almost anyone. I have learned that when I start caring and allow myself to it isn't half assed. Because I am sensitive I protect myself from others and keep my feelings private and hardships out of sight.

Introspection.
It should never be not a thing.

I will inspect my heart and mind over and over again. I will take what people say about me and see if they are right. I do not enjoy critic but I do accept it. My life seems to be going faster and faster however all I want to do is to improve myself...and see people for who they are.

But yet I do not understand people. I do not understand why people have to be mean, rude, insensitive, and dishonest. I understand that hurt will forever be in people. I understand that I have the capability to be completely mean, rude, insensitive, and dishonest. I just try not to be. SO I've been trying to be quiet when I feel like I am going to be like that. I have also tried to be more honest and outspoken about how I feel.

Human.
When does saying I am only Human stop being an excuse?

I am sorry I am only human...Well, honestly sometimes I feel like I am an alien. An alien in a human's body trying to adapt to this world. Trying to understand why people have to be like people. It isn't guns, laws, government, churches, schools, and etc that is wrong with this world, it is people. They are not only the problem but the answer as well.

I am an alien. For you to figure out and for myself to figure out you. I will never be perfect. I am another alien in the sea of people.