What is Life but a ramble of events.

Life...what it brings and what it takes away. The end is near. I can almost maybe see the light at the end of the tunnel. We all crowd around our little or big computers, typing away or I mean trying to. Pinterest and classic sites like Facebook haunt us with procrastination as our papers or tests await us.

I'm entirely sad about leaving my family in the midwest. I made a home in people's hearts and I have to step away for 3 months. Though some I will never see again. I write so much about friends or my family. I know this but I can't seem to tear away from love, hatred, fears, excitements, and etc. Its hard to pull away from something that is at a constant thought...it is as if it brews in my head until I rest in my bed. It is entirely consuming and almost daunting. I'm very much an introvert...I find rest in being by myself or sitting in a room with a very close friend and not talking for hours. I thrive on this because it drives me through the rest of my day.

There are moments in my day where a thought of my mom pops in my head. Mother's day is approaching and it made me think; I have changed so much in the past 8 months. I have been to another country and rested my head in another family's home. I turned 21. I figured out a flexible plan for myself as senior year is coming faster than ever. I have had relationships with people that came and went. I thought I met my next boyfriend but was left broken hearted. I fought for justice in my family and also left things alone. I became an adult...I suppose.

I have heard the name mom so many times in the past 3 days...I don't think I have enough fingers and toes to count.

When I go home...I'm afraid I will be too different for everyone. I think I have changed in being more honest and up front with my feelings...I feel I have changed from being less innocent in my maturity.

As I try and imagine my friends in different areas of the world or US, I get angry. But with whom? Them? Never. God? no...Then what? I get angry with life and the cycle of it. The on going pulls and pushes. the pulls with friends and pushes...the embraces that seem to not last long enough. The way I wish I could bask in the sun when it is hot...I wish I could bask in energy of my friends. I'm starting to just ramble but what is life but a ramble of events.