We Found Love...in a hopeless place

This year...this semester. I don't want it to end. I'm expected to write a paper right now but I just can't seem to get into it. I'm listening to We Found Love by Rihanna, maybe only some of you like it or some of you probably don't even listen to the song. 

When ever my group of friends go out for the night to dance...and this song comes on...we go buck wild. That is the only way to put it. 

This year has been a year that I won't forget. I have struggled, fought, loved, cried, crawled, ran, made bad decisions and made good ones...I will never regret the things that happened this year. I commit to all the decisions I have made. 

Its funny how you can listen to one song and instantly memories shoot out like fireworks. There is nothing more amazing when those memories are nothing but good. We Found Love by Rihanna makes me think of so many amazing people I either met this year or have been friends with for awhile now. I can't seem but to just smile and dance with my memories when that song comes on through the car speakers, headphones, computer, or the party going on that Friday. 

When I left Spain and came home to San Diego, I was nervous about coming to Grand Rapids again. So many people changed and developed something different in their lives. My housemates already lived together for 3 semesters. I was the newb coming in. I was the new girl in the social group...I was nervous that I would be put on the outside for being gone for so long. I wouldn't get the inside jokes that were just made or I wouldn't know many faces. 

I have no idea why I was so nervous once I arrived in Grand Rapids. I remember sitting at the train station and it was so cold. I was waiting for my friends to come get me. I hadn't seem them in 7 months. I barely talked to them during that time as well. They drove up and just gave me the most embracing hugs ever. I could hardly put my stuff in the car. Daniela kept looking back at me from the front seat to the back seat. It was like I was fake or some kind of fantasy to them. They quickly caught me up and expressed their love and caring thoughts to me. 

I just sat in aw. I was dumb founded. One of my biggest flaws of when I get close to someone is knowing and keep knowing that they love me. Just because I do something wrong or they don't give me "enough" attention means that they don't love me. I have been working on this this past year. Daniela has been my right hand man in it all. She grabs me by the face and pulls it close to her's. So close that our noses could touch. She tells me "I love you, Brenna." And sometimes she tells me to repeat after her, "Daniela loves you." 

When you are so far away from home, the ones that make you feel you...are your close friends. There has been some family things going on and the other night I broke down because I was so frustrated and irritated. As I told my housemates what was going on, Christine shared some things with me about her family. I hold onto that moment and I will never let it go. I believe in soul mates...I believe you can have different kinds of soul mates, so different kinds of loves. There can be numerous soul mates in your life. When it comes to friends, there are definitely soul mates too. I found my soul mates freshman year and this year as well. 

So when We Found Love is played I think of it as many different kinds of loves. In this world today its almost impossible to find love...finding love in a hopeless place. God gives us hope and he can give it to us in so many different ways. I found hope through my friends. I found love. I may be single and alone in that field of my life. But so many other people fill the other areas of my life. I'm entirely grateful.