Cynical Human Being

There is this lingering sentence in my mind. I hear almost every morning since I have been in Michigan. It is very simple and yet a genuine concern. The words leave the mouth with out any hesitation or thought to what effect it might have on the other person. "Did you sleep ok?"

I'm not sure why this question lingers on the tip of my brain. As though it is a fleeting thought that just can't flee from my brain. Like it is stuck on something...a loose bult in my mind. I'm not sure but because it lingers I'm attached to it.

You are tired and the clock is set at 10, 11, or 12. You head to bed and say goodnight. For what ever reason it is time to get up and get ready for the day ahead. You might of woken up from a sleepless night, ironically. Or you might of woken up from an ok night of rest. There are those nights were when you wake up in the morning...you wake up with no headache, exhaustion, worry, or a need to sleep more. Right then you realize that you slept more than alright. Your beauty rest was fantastic. It was enjoyable...not a hassle or concern to follow into your day.

My housemate and I exchange these words in the morning. A greeting from a friend.

I don't notice these words ever...not until this past week. Spring break was so fast but so needed at so many levels. A period to just rest my body and most importantly my mind. A breather from the everyday schedule of college.

It's those simple phrases that sometimes catch my attention. Do you really want to know how I slept or are you saying this to keep up...to put your two cents into the relationship? I'm not saying it's the negative answer. I think we as humans need to pay attention to the words that come out of our mouths. To ponder if that is really what we want to contribute to the relationship I have with so-n-so. Or is this just a mindless reaction I have towards that so-n-so.

Simple actions or words can have the slightest ill motives but the receiver can perceive them as a complete opposite. People are horrible. People are ruthless. People are liars. People hurt other people. I don't know if we should be incredibly sensitive towards others or we should just try are best not to piss anyone off. I'm not in the fan club to hurt others but it happens to be that I sometimes act like I am.

I often rely on people. I put these expectations into people. The last few months I have realized I need to limit those expectations...because they are letting me down, they are letting my expectations down. It's a matter of becoming more realistic and less imaginative. Though is this going to destroy me? I won't become a cynical human being will I? If I must to survive, then ok. If it comes down to it, then ok. If...then...