Coffee with mom

though the day marked another day of this, I was still.
Everyday I wake up and think of you
the impression that was left on my life
Everyday I wake up with thoughts I cannot rest
The pictures around my bed comfort
the smell of your perfume transform,
my bed into home.
My clothes lay everywhere
I even become one who sleeps with them
on my bed
Echoing in my head is your soft voice
telling me to clean.
I think you would be impressed
the way I am now
He wants to talk to me tonight
I'm scared and nervous
I want to call you for advice
your rings stay with me
never leaving my hands
I concentrate on them sometimes
loving them
because they were on your hands once
I ran away from God the other day
but he found me so do not worry
Abba, says he sees you everyday
I find comfort in that
The thoughts came back the other day
I was terrified it might happen again
depression sank in and lodged
there was this quote I found...
depression is normal
its a human thing
Last night I had a thought to call you
then I remembered.
I think you would enjoy my new friends.
Amanda is hyper but her heart is pure
Rashelle and you would talk for hours
Christine is unique but you would make her feel at home
Daniela is strong and you would love to listen to her
One of your favorite songs came on the other day
I thought about you
the one day in the car when you pick us up
from school
You talked about the song as if you
knew the artist personally.
I miss days when I wasn't a teenager
and you were still alive
best days yet
I haven't cried in a long time
although every time Grey's
has a woman with cancer...I tear up.
no one notices
I cannot wait for summer
remember when we went swimming
all the time.
I enjoyed that.
my life is calling me back
homework and lunch are at the door
knocking loud
I do not want to be late
but this was good
I enjoyed this.
bye