direction of my calling and not look back

I haven't blogged in a long time and I just thought it would be a good idea to just write a little. The past two months since I have written have been insane. So much has gone on that I think God has planned a life for me of chaos. Nothing is still until I become still in God. My family is having the usually problems it faces and some others. Friends are here and then go. I never thought it would be like that. I never thought they would change so much that we can't even see each other. I'm I that much different? It amazes me how people say change isn't alive but dead as George Washington. I have seen change in so many people's personalities that it scares me about myself.
The things that I get involved in have changed too. I used to get involved with insane parties but not I am going to Mexico for two weeks on a missions trip. I did a spoken word in front of 200 something people. Some times I just don't get it. I do not understand this God who can let tragic happen but then again He blesses us like no other. How am I here living in America where we throw away food because theres too much. How am I here where Hispanics are fighting for their lives to live here. I have started to get Anti-American. Some people here do not get it and others get it right away. My country has freedom of speech which leads to anything to be said. This "freedom" has led us into this twisted world. Our country has so many people who suffer from a mental disorder than these third world countries. We have more serial killers then other countries. We struggle with this concept of freedom. I read this book awhile back, I can't place my finger on what it is called. The author talked about how we need laws to have the right freedom. God gives us laws, the moral law, the golden rule, and some others. Laws are like bones in our body. They are hard and sturdy...they also serve an important function, they keep us moving and in motion. Without the solid bones we would be like silly puddy.
I am thankful for where I live. But too many of us take advantage of where we live. I cannot stand living somewhere where we eat so much processed foods. Our food bill is sky high while some families of four in another country live on $1.25 of groceries for a week. When you watch a tribe in a third world country on TV, count how many over weight people there are. I know I do not have this perfect life, where I am not buy new clothes or expensive food that I do not need. I'm trying not to. There is just so much we can do, but don't do it. God has placed this compassion and passion on my heart for a reason. I'm going to go in the direction of my calling and not look back.