understanding the WHY questions

As I get older God seems to be more alive than He was when I was younger. There are more chaotic things that I am involved in but they only make my faith stronger. I wonder and ask why my mom had to have cancer and pass away. Then I presume to ask why it had to happen to me. Those questions then come to questions like why did I end up at Calvin College with the people I am with on a daily basis. Why I lost one of my closest friends due to some piled up fights and bad situations. When chaotic questions fill my mind and I am lost at words, God shows me why. I have lost a lot in my life, or so it seems, but I have been a blessing to a lot of lives. I do not want to sound conceited but it's true. My friend recently found some horrible news about her mom and sadly its close to the same story of my mom. I have a gift. I have the gift to give my friend empathy instead of sympathy. I have a gift to understand the pain that not only hurts you emotionally but stabs your heart. I have the chance to be strong for someone who is finding it hard to be strong. I understand what my purpose is at Calvin for the time being. I understand why I lost a friend. God doesn't put screwed up situations in your life just to mess you up on this journey but to make you stronger....sin corrupts but God uses this corruption for good. He creates good. He produces good. He created love. He installs love in us. I am becoming a passionate person. I am learning how to love everyone. I am growing up. Growing out of the silly girl but into this person that God created me to be.