Introduce it to God and find out that they are already friends

"Moving on" has been a very impactful phrase in my life. The words I think can sting or be forever untrue. They can be helpful sometimes but that depends on when they are said and who says them.

I think the most important person to tell you to move on is yourself. I've been in three different scenarios that these words have been useful and they have also been so completely wrong. One situation that was incredibly useful for those words was when a former best friend just destroyed my heart. 

The relationship was good in the ways we both needed it at that time. However, boundaries were crossed, things happened, we were unhealthy and relied on each other too much. We weren't independent from each other. Then things just fell apart in such a dramatic way. The relationship was so useful to say "move on". It was defiantly time and defiantly needed. I miss that relationship sometimes though. I was young and way more reckless. I was getting through my mother's death and trying to find ways to cope. 

No one ever said it to me but I sensed it from them when I talked. I would become confused by it and shut people out as much as I could. Some years after my mom passed away I thought that moving on was what I needed to do. I thought that was what people eventually did. Although, over the years I found that it was completely wrong. You don't get over death and move you. It isn't simple like that. Instead you find life, find coping skills, and you most certainly find love. You don't move on, you hold on. Grief is one wild ride and at times it takes no survivors. It never gives up but you have the power to decrease its voice. Not silence it because that will make it worse but instead take it in and show that you can handle it. Make it listen to music. Have it take a peaceful walk. Take it out to dinner with friends. Introduce it to God and find out that they are already friends. Moving on from death has no form. Living your life does. 

The other moment that moving on had some space in the room was the break up I recently went through. I've never been head over heels. I've also never really wanted to date. Going on dates yes but never really wanted to be with someone for more than a month. The world is so big! How could you even think my life had room for that! That sounds so wrong but when I get seriously involved with someone I'm loyal. Though sometimes people take you by surprise. Yea I fell hard...

I fell even harder when we broke up and even harder for the reason why. I told myself to move on and keep pushing to move on. It had to happen. I had to let it happen. 

There are some things that don't need to move on and there are some things that need to move on. 

Moving on is the process of healing the heart in a certain way. It's a harsh way for certain problems. But once you move on you can enjoy the mountains again. You can enjoy the sunset and sunrise again. You can enjoy life. Live life.

I'm not fond of grudges. They seem to just hurt more than they are worth it. They feel dirty to me and unattractive. Grudges can be confused with proceeding pain. Moving on doesn't always mean the pain is gone. Moving on can mean removing the grudge. How magical is that? Pretty awesome I think. So when you think about moving on from something think about why you should, the benefits, and then how you should move on.