Walls of my room spoke

Walls of My Room Spoke

There was a moment when my heart stood still.
I listened to the silence and noticed I stood still.
My eyes lingered on your body.
Either love was blinding or this was real.
I held my tongue for some months and watched.
Smoke left my lungs as I readied myself.
Deep devotion I laid in, to wake in deep emotion.
My heart stood still and the silence settled in.
Tired eyes looking at you and sadness back at me.
The moment my heart stood still to calm myself.
Leather on your feet, I picked it out for you.
The green on your back we found together.
Materials only resembling mundane memories.
I sat in the silence on the stairs to breath it in.
I forced the rejection away for me.
Prolonging the sadness till it wasn't possible.
The walls of my room spoke to me in subtle voices.
Whispering the memories they witnessed.
Standing still, my heart listened and lingered on.
There was a moment when my heart stood still.
I listened to the silence and noticed I stood still.
Either love was blinding or this was real.
You held me when it was over...you held me
this time you didn't even move, you said nothing.
The one stood still but I picked my heart up and moved.
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There was this moment in my life that I couldn't quite grasp. It took me years for my mind and my heart to be on the same page. I searched endlessly for answers. Nothing seemed to work because I wanted things to heal fast and they weren't. Time, it took time to heal me. It took 6 years for me to feel ok consistently after my mom passed. I had to work through I lot of things and come to terms with so many things. When I approach heart ache now...my intensity to solve the equation is less intense. I have become very comfortable with finding a balance. I have had to learn how to trust. Though I do know I love like a child so when things end I feel intense. I have a hard time calculating things out to make sure that its ok to love. However it isn't easy for me to find something that I love passionately like a child. For a simplistic example, I like a lot of music but to love it takes a "Love at first listen" for me. I will become obsessed with it. I have realized for me now that logical transcends into a lot of areas of my life. It isn't the first look. Or the first intimate encounter...a kiss...a hand hold...a hug...etc. For me its listening to you or it. The first listen. When I took time to listen to job I learned to love it. I dislike many things about my job. But when I listened to the kids and let connections be made I loved it. When I listen to people...a really good listen, I fall into a spiral of connections. I inter-web myself and if that listen is amazing, it's hard for me to turn away. I fall into loving like a child. Risks start to disappear...the minor negativeness disappear...It is like finding the full moon and the light it shines down. It's the light in the complete darkness that can guide you.

I have no idea why but I love this song.