as long as they will let me

The holiday seasons have past and now we look forward to the rest of winter and spring break. Our lives revolve around the seasons...in fact they dictated by them. We celebrate and then move on. We get into the Christmas spirit and then we enter the New Year.

I don't have any resolutions that are elaborate or complex. Though I do have one. It is to have no regrets. Going into the rest of the school year with a positive and moving forward kind of attitude. I know once this last semester is over, my life will be strange. I sometimes have these little panic attacks about it. Back home I don't have a friend group. I wish I did. I once did. I will not have what I had/have here in Michigan.

In Michigan I went through some of the hardest times of my life and some of the greatest times in my life. I learned in my classes. I learned with my friends. My friends found me. I did not find them. I cried my most in Michigan and I also laughed the most here. I have thought about staying. If I could find a job. And then thought about how many of my friends will be moving to different places...or already have. I get really sad. Because there isn't a solution. I just have to stick it out with whatever happens.

Christmas break was amazing. I spent it with my family. With my brothers, my dad, my sister-n-laws, and my niece. I had the best of times. It felt like for once in my life my entire family was happy. That we have grown so much over the past 5 years. I look at each of them and see the life in their eyes. I wonder if the next Christmases will be the same. I've missed them each dearly.

One thing came out of the break was that I reconnected with my sister-n-law allison. I think it has to deal with the fact that I am getting older and maturing, haha. But anyways, to me it was awesome and just kinda magical. I really appreciated the time we had. I'm a bit different than my family. I dress differently and I'm interested in some different things. Though when you connect with your family...its magic. At times we just work to get along and it shouldn't be that way. We should just get along.

As the holidays pass and the world moves into it's daily routine, stop and look at the people around you. The people you surrond yourself with. Every single one of them. If they are worth it hold them close and never let go. Because a holiday isn't meant to be spent alone. But to be spent with family no matter if they are blood related or not. I'm going to hold onto my Michigan family as long as I can and as long as they will let me.