more of those weekends

I had the privilege of having a great weekend. Sometimes they are hard to find. Those weekends when almost every moment is fantastic.

I looked into my friends' eyes this weekend. I saw something in them. Something so great. I wanted to take that look in their eyes and hold onto it forever. I watched the old Parent Trap the other night. There is this part when Susan, who is pretending to be Sharon, smells her grandpa for the first time. He asks her what she is up to and she says "Making a memory."

Making those good memories for when life kind of sucks or when you forget how good it was. So as I watched my friends play in the lake...king of the hill that is. And I watched them as the sun was slowing down...I didn't want anything else. My body hurt from swimming so long. My face was tight from the lake water and the sun mixture. My body cold from the breeze and my wet bathing suit still on me. I watched them play and laugh and joke and be them. I saw some of their flaws and I saw their qualities. I saw the love they had for each other. I saw the ones who didn't know each other that well make an effort. I saw life happen before my eyes.

They made me feel alright. Like how I knew I made the right decision in coming early to Michigan. I've been a bit overwhelm lately with school starting. I just want to hold on to what I have now. I don't want to let go. I don't want them to leave or go home. I want them to be by me. I mean I got to know them and now its over?? I started life with them and now it seems like it is coming to an end.

It makes me think of that saying...some people are in your life for a season and a reason but some are there for a lifetime. I don't want these friends to be here just for a season. I will be as selfish as possible because this is something I want. But this idea of them going their separate ways, makes me want to pull away. Or to distance myself and attach onto new people. Because then if I do...the pain will be less.

Tuesday is my first day of Senior year, aka my last year. I will start that week with habits that will continue for the rest of that year and maybe the rest of my life. My conversations need to be more intentional and even though I tend to cling to being an introvert...I might have jump out of the boat. Stop turning things down because of what is comfortable. Even after Spain I still have problems with that.

The home that I made here is going to be one that will never forget even if I do try. As I searched for love and comfort these past years here, I didn't know that I would actually find it. I found it different ways too and different people that I didn't expect to have it. I see my heart yearning for more but being reluctant as time goes on.

So this past weekend was something. Something I won't forget. This year I will try to grab a hold of more of those weekends.