Some liberation

Something happened to me when I came to Grand Rapids, Mi. When I came back to Calvin and the world it produces. I may call it some form of shock I suppose but I don't know if I can say that. I guess I can say that the person I knew I was in Calvin isn't quite there anymore. I feel different from her and the choices she would regularly make. Or why I would make those choices. My reasoning for some things have changed, my views, and who I want to talk to has also changed. 

I see this college campus as a good friend I left behind and I'm coming back to. Constantly coming back and forth from California to Michigan and now Spain...as altered some of my relationships with people. I'm closer to some and I'm distant from others. Some have pushed me to the outer sides of their lives. I care but I come to an understanding. I knew living somewhere else than the States would change my relationships. 

I was with a friend this evening and we were talking about Spain. I couldn't describe things to him well to a point where it made sense. I couldn't connect two totally different worlds. I just didn't have the words to do myself justice and it made me frustrated. I was frustrated that I even tried. When I went into depth about Spain for the first time it was like describing colors to a color blind person. Can you see my frustration? 

My everyday life in Spain has turned into a color that no one in my American inner circle can see. Being in my classes for a little over a week I find myself at times struggling. Not at all with the material or anything like that. I struggle with the fact that so many people perceive to be the same. The same Christian Reformed Calvin College thoughts, dreams, aspirations, and desires. 

I'm still waiting for that one person to just wow me. To surprise me with the things they say and do. To catch my mouth forming the word awe. 

I'm waiting for the point to wow someone else...

This is the world I live in. I find school great but sometimes so confining. I want to meet the people not the theories. I want hands on action instead of it being on a TV screen. I'm content with my thinking though. I like looking forward and being places. I like meeting those interesting people that up front won't share their darkest secrets. Although, the first conversations exchanged with them...you might hear them somewhere down the road. They might tell you about how their Dad died or how they got into the car accident...or how they want to changed the world now. 

I'm feeling stuck a bit after spain...like the life I lived in the States isn't cutting it anymore. Well the life I had in the States. It's time for a change. Some liberation.