Dear Mother's Day,
I have learned to love you. I couldn't stand you for the longest time however. The way you present yourself in May catches everyone by surprise. Mothers are always busy and sometimes forget. Children tend to be reminding fathers and older siblings. Mothers are reminding mothers. I remember when I hated you. I hated you because you made it aware that my mother is in heaven.
Though over the years that have gone by I have realized that I love you, Mother's Day. Did you know you are the holiday that the church attendance is almost as high as the Christmas service? And that Father's Day is least attended...It took me awhile to understand that mothers come in all forms. Care comes in all forms. Nurturing comes in all forms.
I used to think that because I didn't have a mom anymore I couldn't celebrate you. I could remember my mom and pay tribute to her but I couldn't take her out to breakfast or make her some craft that she would enjoy. I couldn't spend the entire day with my mom doing whatever she wanted to do. I would though become jealous of people that had a living mom. I even became jealous of people that were moms.
Mother's Day you made me so sad in the past. You were an awful reminder of what I didn't have anymore. Mother's day you still make me sad but you also make me overjoyed. I think of my sister-n-laws who are now mothers. How brave, courageous, strong, resilient, unstoppable, and humble they are. I think about my friend's mothers...knowing some may not be the best but how blessed I am that their child is my friend because they gave birth to them or they were the ones who mothered them. I think about the ones who mothered and keep showing their mother qualities to me. I think about my father who has had to change and require some motherly skills. I think about the ones who don't have mothers or their mother isn't the greatest human. I'm not glad that I was given the ability to sympathize with them. I am glad that I can sympathize with them.
Mother's day you remind me that I have a lot of work to do in order to be the amazing mother my Mom was to me. I realize a lot of the times my blog focuses on the issue of my Mom's death. It is because that event has impacted me in a way only a handful will understand.
Mother's day you remind me how amazing my Mom was and this is how amazing she was:
She was diagnosed with breast cancer when I was 4. I believe she was 36. For the next 13 years of her life she battled the on and off again fight of cancer. At the beginning of the diagnoses she was given I believe a year or maybe 2 to live. She is considered a miracle. She raised 5 children and lost one at the age of 4. She worked part time and still managed to decorate a beautiful home, have a wonderful home cooked dinners and desserts practically every night (when we were given meals when she was recovering from treatment or surgery, we would complain that it wasn't her cooking), she wrangled all 4 children to clean the house and do yard work every Saturday, she danced in the kitchen and blared Celine Dion, she would set new clothes on my bed when I got home, she attended my last volleyball game even though she was in a wheelchair, she was amazing at making anyone feel loved and appreciated...the list goes on in how this woman was a warrior.
Mother's Day I appreciate you being a holiday because if you weren't there I wouldn't be able to celebrate my saint of a mom or the people in my life that have mothered me along this journey with my own mom.
Love,
Brenna
This week I would like to take each day as a day to appreciate someone.This life is too insane not too. There are incredible people all around you and even the ones you might not be on good terms with...they are incredible too. We often think of these holidays as something that is so constricting and it can only fit one mold. That is highly untrue. We can make this holiday into whatever we need realistically.What I do know for certain is that I will be celebrating my Mom and the ones who have mothered me along the way.
