The process of growing is such a concept. It's almost as if personal growth is just like your body growing from a child to an adult. Things don't fit the same way they used to. Your voice changes and you learn knew inflections. Your hair changes colors. The pains in your legs start happening as the body grows taller. And when the years pass you look completely different. The process was probably expensive and sometimes the pains really hurt but you changed.
I've been experiencing a lot of personal growth lately. Those growing pains are for sure getting to me. My father keeps reminding me that I need to let the process take place and I need to ask for it. It is a hard pill to swallow but I swallowed it. My body needs so much sleep lately just to keep my mind processing.
Push myself. Allow the pushing. Excel in the pushing.
I've realized time and time again my stubbornness never fails me. I do not really get giving up or finding the easy way out. Because it's just going to come around again and bite you in the ass. I learn quickly but I also fall into the hard way of things. So this personal growth thing is always a struggle for me.
When I was depressed and anxious all the time a few years ago I couldn't understand the world. My eyes were cloaked by the black curtain of depression. Even grasping the concept of personal growth wasn't an option. The option was staying alive. When you meet a person that has ever dealt with something like that it's probably a good idea to get to know them. They can be such a talented and amazing person. That path of growth is one of the hardest things to do. However, when you do get past it the things you have learned about love, connection, humans, beauty, compassion, intellect, kindness, grace, and etc are extremely exciting and a great experience to encounter.
When I start dating someone or become friends with them I come off as thoughtful, caring, and really nice. There's a reason for that. I don't want anyone to feel as alone as I did. I'm not doing it for you to push me over or around. I'm not trying to subject myself to be subjected by someone else. I've been through a lot and at times my life really isn't easy. So I am going to try my hardest to make you feel special. That's what personal growth does to you. It changes your character.
I'm human like the rest of you. I might show my darkness a little more than others but it's all apart of being honest and real. If you can't handle being around someone who has struggled with trauma ya gotta gtfo. You're not willing to get know them. Even though they could be a big blessing to you. They could change your life. I'm not optimistic or a pessimistic. I'm in-between. I am me. This life isn't a bust rather its an opportunity to be great.
To further my personal growth I'm going to try and finally perform my spoken words in public again. Maybe write a new one.
